Now, Live with Laughter

Hello Everyone,
My heart ached when I wrote the last update and I thought this journey had come to an end but like Lindsey, there is just too much to contain in 1 final entry. Even after her time here with us came to an end Lindsey’s influence continues on and on.
I wanted to share with you the events following Lindsey’s graduation because it has truly been so uplifting and spiritual. I know that if I can help you feel a tiny bit of what I have felt this week then I have accomplished what needed to be done. On behalf of Lindsey…..
Planning a funeral can be chaotic, depressing, disparaging, and something you just don’t want to have to deal with. You envision someone just wanting to wallow in their misery at the loss that has occurred. I can tell you that none of that was true as Josh, the family and the friends came together to create a tribute that would be fitting for her memory. The day Lindsey passed away her sister Savanah’s friend pulled us all together and sang us the most incredible song which she had written for Lindsey. It was so amazing and beautiful…it was perfect. Everything just fell into place as we pulled together to create an experience which would inspire people as Lindsey did. I think we were able to accomplish that very thing.
Sunday night, we knew many people would come to the viewing (isn’t that an odd word?) but we were truly overcome with joy at the sheer numbers that came to tell us of their love for our beautiful girl. Over 500 Sunday night alone. The line was 2 hours long and people stayed. There could be no rush for the moments we spent with everyone. Feelings and memories were being shared. Hugs, joy, and sadness as well but it was incredible. Someone mentioned to me that we would be there until 10:30pm! I said FANTASTIC!! I wouldn’t want it to be any other way. The only thing that gave any argument was my feet J
Monday, it was the same. So many people wanting that last moment with Lindsey. One of her very best friends flew in from New Orleans. Another lady came and spent the 2 hours in line. She had never met Lindsey, Josh, or any of the rest of the family, but she had read her story and just needed to come and meet us. That is the powerful impact of Lindsey.
The moment came to say goodbye. Josh leaned over his sweetheart one last time and gently kissed her on the lips. It was the only time he wept publicly. He has been so incredibly strong.
The funeral became a living tribute to Lindsey. The music touched our hearts. Her siblings did the life sketch and shared a personal experience of Lindsey. Then Josh….yes, he spoke. He talked of his love for Lindsey, what it meant to care for her and how it deepened their love, her impact, her love for others, it was powerful and touching. We were all moved by his strength. He was referred to as a giant among men, a warrior for Lindsey. It’s true, he was Lindsey’s warrior against all the battled against her. Mark and I spoke, (I will post the story I shared at friends request in a separate post) her parents. Todd had us laughing at wonderful memories, such as Lindsey’s love of Halloween and outrageous costumes! He called her a firecracker and she was! Then the Bishop. He spoke of going to the hospital in June and even though Lindsey was swollen from the medication he told of how incredibly beautiful she looked. So much so that she looked like an angel. He said he felt as if he needed to remove his shoes, that he was walking on holy ground when he entered her room. It was indeed the way many of us felt those last weeks when we were with Lindsey. You knew that she wasn’t enduring this journey on her own. You knew and felt the angels there to help her.
Following the funeral was the graveside service. There was so much we wanted to show emotionally that we extended it to this beautiful spot where Lindsey’s physical body will remain while her spirit soars free. The song again written and sung by her sisters sweet friend and then the dedication. The pallbearers looked on with their yellow ties (her favorite color) They stood side by side and appeared to stand ready to protect this spot. So touching was the dedication by her grandfather, Darwin Cottle. I will never forget these moments.
I must pause in her story to thank the numerous people who stepped forward to help with this day. I can’t name you all by name but you know who you are and you know you are loved. From the viewing and helping with all the preparations necessary there, to the luncheon where it took 4 separate Relief Societies to organize and produce a lunch for approximately 200 people. There were even French fries from Taco Amigo! Awesome.
Needless to say as the day wound down we should have been emotionally spent and physically exhausted but there were still moments to be had on this incredible day. Those who wished met us by Utah Lake and we didn’t have profound things to say. We only wished to end the day on a light note. Which was exactly what happened!. The wind was blowing and we needed it to be calm (I think Lindsey orchestrated that) there were bugs aplenty so we couldn’t stand still for very long, most of the lighters didn’t work but somehow we made it all happen. The wind would carry the lanterns down the beach and people were chasing them and laughing. One caught fire (my husbands - lol) people were continually swatting at the bugs. Honestly, it was a huge laugh fest and I know Lindsey was smiling and laughing watching it all happen. We did get many of the lanterns to fly and on them was written “Lindsey, Shine bright and fly free” and oh how she did! It was a beautiful site to witness.
2 days later the new music lab at Grovecrest Elementary was dedicated in Lindsey’s honor. On the walls in each room were the mottos “I hope you dance” and a plaque with Lindsey’s picture and living through laughter motto hangs in the entry to both rooms. So Lindsey didn’t just inspire each of us to be better people, or even the people who had never met her before from her story being shared. She will inspire generations of children who pass through those doors to be more, do more, and most importantly to do it all while laughing and dancing!

May we all remember the feelings we have had while sharing Lindsey and Josh’s story. I pray we all try, especially on those days when things aren’t going our way, to remember than none of the trials we face could be more difficult than Lindsey’s own journey and yet she never lost her smile, her will to fight for every moment, her love for Josh, her family and friends. She never let this trial make her bitter, or angry. I never saw self pity in her eyes or felt depression when I was with her. Those who spoke to her felt better themselves after coming to comfort ‘her’. I believe if it wasn’t impossible for Lindsey then we surely can do that for ourselves and those around us. The impact she had on life was incredible. We have that very ability. It’s within us to make it happen so with all the love I hold for this incredible girl and the lessons she taught me…..I hope you dance.

With love and thanks,

Julie

As in life on earth, when one season comes to an end, another begins - and so it is with Lindsey.

Hello Everyone,

I'm sitting alone in my office at home and next to my computer is a beautiful picture of Lindsey. It was taken when Josh and Lindsey were engaged and she has the most radiant smile you can imagine. Josh enhanced the sepia toned picture by accentuating Lindsey's beautiful blue eyes and they were so full of happiness and life the day it was taken. It was the smile that drew people to her like moths to light. The smile that inspired 100's of people who didn't even know her but felt her love and joy. The smile that greeted me each time I saw her and later each time I entered her room while she lie in her bed. The smile, which she tried so hard to show on Tuesday nite to Josh. Her joy was complete the day she married her best friend just a little more than 3 years ago.

Before I began this update I said a quiet prayer that I would be able to convey Lindsey's feelings and happiness. I am being told over and over she is incredibly, joyously happy. I know she will sit beside me while I tell her final eartly story and that brings me unimaginable comfort.

Tuesday night I was with Josh and Lindsey with my son Matt. Lindsey was there but struggling to communicate thru the fragileness of her weakened and stricken body. She looked at me, not with bright eyes, but with eyes that said "I did all I could do" I whispered in her ear that she had fought so incredibly hard and she nodded her head yes. She struggled to raise her hand and made the 'I love you' symbol. I couldn't believe the will of her spirit to be able to do such a thing when the rest of her body could barely do anything at all. She slowly turned to Josh and then to Matt and made the same symbol. It touched my heart with joy and pain. I don't think I can fully explain to you the extent of my love for Lindsey. When you are allowed to serve someone your love grows and grows until you feel you might burst. That is how much I loved her. You can only imagine Josh's love for Lindsey for the love and care he showed her. Always by her side. Doing what it took to make her comfortable and happy. It physically hurt to pull myself from her that night. I thought of her all thru the restless night that followed.

Wednesday morning Josh got up as usual and went to work. He said Lindsey's breathing had been a little louder, like snoring and since Lindsey mostly slept thru the day he didn't think too much of it. However, it was Lindsey's body doing it's final preparations to finally be done. As the moments rolled on, all of her siblings, Josh's family, nieces, nephews, aunts, best friends, gathered in Lindsey's room. We were told it could be a short while or it took take some time. Honestly, I thought that Lindsey had beaten all of the other predictions that we were going to be there a while. No one wanted to leave, however and there were nearly 25 people gathered around her bed. Lindseys Mom Pam gave one of the most beautiful prayers I have ever heard and we all began to share our feelings and testimonies regarding Lindsey's life, her legacy, Josh and the care he gave her and the plan of salvation. It was one of the most spiritual and beautiful experiences of my life. Each person dug deep and there were many tears shed. My sons, who are typically incredible private people, shared their love of Lindsey and also their admiration for their brother. We had nearly all spoken when Pam began and while she spoke Lindsey took her final and very peaceful breaths and let that burdensome body go free. It was so peaceful that I really believe if we hadn't been so focused on her we may have missed it. Lindsey graduated from this eartly existence at 2:22 pm (her moms favorite #) it was no coincidence. I will tell you that I honestly believe Lindseys spirit had already escaped that ravaged body. She was with us to be sure but her body made no movement whatsoever that day. Her eyes didn't flutter, her fingers didn't twitch, her head didn't move, she didn't try to speak. It was just breathing and I know she was so incredibly happy to be free. To be the Lindsey we know. To look at her in that bed couldn't be Lindsey. There was no life, no joy, no happiness. No, that could not be her....but she was there beyond our ability to see her, doing her happy dance :)

We have so deeply been moved by the outpouring of love we have received in service and messages we have received. Lindsey's facebook page was inundated with messages and memories and Josh cherished each one. They have been so comforting for him and all of us during this time. Josh is a rock and doing well. He stayed in the same room last night while he, Todd (Lindsey's Dad) and his friend Grant all shared fun memories of Lindsey. Josh wanted to stay close to where she was. He told me that he knows she is happy. There was nothing left unsaid between them and he is peaceful about her passing.

Lindsey's funeral will be held on Monday at 1p in the Timpanogos Stake Center, 800 North 100 West in Pleasant Grove. A viewing will be held 1 hour prior to the funeral and at the same location on Sunday night from 6:30 - 8:30pm. On Monday nite we will be having a special send off for Lindsey by setting 40 floating lanterns aloft to celebrate her life and anyone who would like to participate is free to join us. I will give more information regarding that location later on.

Thank you all for sharing Lindsey's journey with us. Thank you for opening your hearts to her story and letting it be a part of who you are. But....her journey is not finished, only beginning. She is on her way to her next great adventure and I'm envious. For those that know Lindsey and those who have felt her through these updates, she is laughing that wonderful laugh, singing at the top of her lungs, dancing her most happy dance, and watching over us. Lindsey, we love you and you will forever be in our hearts. May we all live as Lindsey lived. With laughter, hope, and dreams.

The Parable of Immortality

I am standing by the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch until at last she hangs like a peck of white cloud
just where the sun and sky come down to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says :
- ‘There she goes!

Gone where?
Gone from my sight – that is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the places of destination.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says:
- ‘There she goes! ‘,
there are other eyes watching her coming to shore,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout :
- ‘Here she comes!’
By Henry Van Dyke

~August Update~

Hello Everyone,

Well my promise to send out an update sooner didn't really pan out.  I looked at the calender and it's been another 3 weeks.  Crazy how time gets away from a person.  I don't understand it, it sure doesn't seem like my days go by that fast :)

What do I say in this update?  I certainly don't want anyone to be caught off guard and I have people that send me notes and ask how Lindsey is doing.  Most of the time I'm not quite sure how to respond.  It's one of those things that you know what the kids, the family and you are going through and yet how do I convey it to all of you without sacrificing Josh and Lindsey's privacy.  It's a quandry to be sure but I defintely want the people who love Lindsey to understand her situation.

Over the last few weeks I've received some amazing notes from people I don't even know but that know Lindsey and have a past with her.  They have shared some wonderful memories with me and I love reading back through those notes, especially on difficult days, and they bring me joy.  Lindsey was an incredibly vibrant and loving girl and it shows when I receive heartfelt and personal experiences from her friends.  Those notes are cherished.  In fact, it would be an awesome time to share some personal experiences, if you feel you can.  These don't have to be a memory you have shared with Lindsey, it can be your feelings about how her journey has affected you.  What positive things have you done or changed, and how will it change the way you look at life?  I know I have much I can and will share when the time is right.  For me now, writing the updates is my tribute to her.  I hope as we go through the next little while we may all take a few minutes and go to the blog, read back through her journey, and be inspired.  That is my prayer and hope.

Lindsey still greets me with a smile when I enter her bedroom.  It's pretty rare when a smile is missed and that would only be because she is eating french fries.  I'm not kidding!!  That girl LOVES french fries.  Regular, Taco Amigo (extra crispy, extra salty), Sweet Potato fries.  It doesn't matter as long as they came from a potato and look like something that should be a french fry, then she's in heaven.  Oh boy is all I can say.  It makes me smile.   When I leave I always make sure to blow Lindsey a kiss.  She always returns it.  It's my special 1 second of connection with her.  :)  I love sitting with Lindsey, even if no words are spoken and caring for her.  It makes me feel that I am on the path I should be.  What a gift for me to be able to do that.  What a blessing she is in my life.  I love watching my son care for his best friend.  It doesn't matter what it is, he is her strength.  Lindsey doesn't say much these days but when Josh gets ready to leave he always says "I love you Lindsey" and Lindsey always replies "I love you more" which of course is greeted with "I love you most" (now don't be thinking of that creepy witch in Tangled cause this is awesome)  What makes it even more amazing is that truly Lindsey only says one maybe two words at a time now but the expression of love for Josh is strong and clear. 

Some time ago I posted a quote and I think I wrote it again not too long ago.  But it's important and I need to remember it more than anything right now. "We may not know what the future holds, but we know who holds it"  My dear friend Karen told me that at the beginning of this diffcult journey and it's even more important to remember now as the days get harder to bear.  I believe we all know that Lindsey's time here is limited.  It is drawing closer each day and we have done all we can do.  She has beaten the odds by so much more than any of the doctors ever thought.  We have witnessed miracles and events take place, the outpouring of service and love in hers and Josh's behalf has been incredible.  I wish I could write that there has been a drastic change in her condition, that things have turned around but I don't believe I will ever get the opportunity to write those words and my heart is broken.  There are days when the waves of sadness are almost too much to bear but then I receive a note from someone unexpected or a friend says something that lifts me up.  Those do more than I can ever say.

Thank you to all of you for wanting to be included in Lindseys life and journey.  Thank you for supporting the kids and sending them your love.  Mark's Aunt Kathy made an incredible "Memory" quilt for Lindsey that hasn't left her bed since she gave it to her that was embroidered with special dates from Lindseys life.  Truly a gift from the heart.  I know your prayers were and are heard.  I know they have extended Lindseys life.  She is very little discomfort which just shouldn't be happening.  She doesn't even take Ibuprophen.  I will never be able to express to all of you what is in my heart but I hope I've given you some idea.  Another quote I shared recently is this....and I hope we remember it.  "What if tomorrow you ended up with only what you thanked God for today"  Something to think about.  We should all be grateful for the experience of knowing Lindsey.

With all my love,

Julie 

July 18th, 2011 Happy Anniversary Josh and Lindsey!

Hello Everyone.

Well my promise to do better on the updates didn't pan out too well.  Sorry about that.  I know everyone is interested in what's happening and 2 weeks is much too long (ok, it's been 3).  Yikes. 

The reason I haven't sent out more regular updates is that things are pretty status quo, however, I will tell you that we had a remarkable day with Josh and Lindsey on the 4th of July.  As I tell you the events of the day, keep in mind that she is mostly in her bed for the majority of the day.  Each day she had small seizure activity or tremors that prevent her from swallowing and she is generally very tired, however, she really wanted to see the balloon launch in Provo early in the morning, so we made our plans.

At 5a, Mark and I were up and going, out the door and over to Lindsey's parents by 5:30a.  (not just us but the boys as well!)  Lindsey and Josh were up and getting ready, she was excited to be able to go.  We loaded her up and made our way to Provo.  We arrived just as they were beginning the flag raising ceremony.  This was a large US flag attached to the Alexanders red, white, and blue balloon and the entire gathering repeated the pledge of allegiance with the announcer and then played the Star Spangled Banner.  It was awesome.  All of the balloons began to inflate and they even had Darth Vader head (haha) which was a massive 86' across and a price tag of $500,000.  Most of the balloons were inflated and ready to take off when a pretty stiff wind came and the launch was cancelled.  It was a little disappointing but still it was a fun time for our family to be together.  Matt, Jenny and their 2 boys along with Mitch, Mike, and us all spent a beautiful morning together in the midst of these awesome balloons and field of color.  (ok, that's the Mom version)  The boys were a bit disappointed but not to fear as the Karrs tend to make their own entertainment.  Pretty soon we had made our way to the parking lot where our vehicles were and Mike (with Jaxson in the stroller) and Matt (with Logan in a stroller) began to do stroller races.  We were all laughing and having a great time.  I'm not sure who won but it was close!  I thought for sure by this point that Lindsey would have wanted to go home and rest but she was still going strong so we headed out to breakfast.  Her appetite is healthy and it took a couple of hours but we had a great meal and she did really, really well.  Afterwards, yes, by then she was ready for a nap (we all were ;) and later we all went and watched Josh and his Dad fly their RC planes.  A bit more rest and she was ready for fireworks!!  We parked in the church parking lot and had a perfect view.  It was a magical day and the best part is that she had absolutely no tremors or seizure activity the entire day.  It was a bit of a miracle in itself.





Since that day Lindsey has had her ups and downs.  My daughter Jessica spoke with Lindsey while she was in the hospital this last time and then spoke to her again recently.  She said she couldn't believe how much better she now sounded!  On the phone that day, you'd never know.  A girl stopped me in church yesterday and she had stopped and spoken to Josh and Lindsey a few weeks ago and  said she couldn't believe that after spending a few minutes with them she walked away feeling happy and joyful and she had expected to be full of sadness at their situation but they gave her a huge dose of happiness instead.  Isn't that truly incredible?

Today, July 18th, is Josh and Lindsey's 3rd Anniversary.  Unfortunately, Lindsey is having a down day and is extremely tired and not too aware that it is actually their special day but Josh still took the day off to be with her.  He made her favorite food of all time, french fries, for lunch.  Honestly, that girl could eat french fries for breakfast. lunch, and dinner!!  And she loves fry sauce!  She will even eat it on brocolli.  Crazy and fun.  Their love shows through everything else that is happening.  Josh is strong, a little sadder, but I think not as full of anxiety, which is a blessing.  If you'd like to shoot them a "Happy Anniversary" note, I know they would love it.  If you are on FB drop them a line on their pages, Josh Karr or Lindsey Kae Robinson Karr.  You do not have to be on their list of friends to drop a note.  Otherwise go to the blog http://www.forlindsey.blogspot.com/ or even better to the website of http://www.livingthroughlaughter.com/  The website has much more information on it than the blog but whichever you are comfortable with.


Don't forget to still offer prayers, or send positive energy to Lindsey at 5:55.  Thank you one and all for all the notes, love, and encouragement.  There are people I knew very little at the beginning of this journey which began a year ago, who are now some of my greatest sources of peace.  Friends and family, you are loved.

With love,
Julie

June 25th, 2011 Update

Hello Everyone,

          First, let me apologize for not getting something out to you sooner.  I can’t believe it’s been nearly 2 weeks since my last update.  I’m very sorry about that.

Just to briefly go over my last email to you all, Lindsey had a major seizure on Monday, June 13th.  She was being cared for at home by Josh and the hospice team but it became clear as the week progressed that more care was needed than was capable of being done at home and Lindsey was admitted into the AF hospital on Thursday, June 16th.  At that time they inserted a feeding tube as Lindsey had not been able to intake any food as she was having ‘seizure activity’ in her throat muscles and tongue that prevented her from swallowing.  She had not eaten anything since Monday morning.  Gratefully, her color improved almost immediately and she began speaking a little more.  It was very slurred to begin with and almost imperceptible but with each day we witnessed her determination and perseverance to get better and each day her speech improved, she gained strength and was standing, going on wheelchair walks around the hospital, etc.  By Monday, the 20th they decided the tremors, which had remained fairly constant, had subsided enough to try food.  She did well and she was able to order dinner.  If any of you know Lindsey well, you know she LOVES food.  She ordered nearly everything available to her on the menu and the hospital staff thought it was awesome!  And darned if she didn’t eat nearly everything they brought her.  It took a while but she did it!  One of those “I can’t believe it”! moments (We know there have been many of those).

          The hospice team was overall in charge of her care while she was in the hospital and the Dr. was amazing.  They have only known Lindsey in this state as she wasn’t having to utilize hospice much since they placed her on it in February, so they had no comprehension that she would be up walking, talking, eating, and determined to “get out of this hospital!” Which she did on Tues, the 21st.  However, upon getting settled at home she experience another seizure for which Josh administered the shot and we waiting.  She woke up 4 hours later and all she wanted was french fries and so that is what she got.  Of course, we were stressed as you can imagine.  Josh got very little sleep the next few days watching her and making sure in the night there weren’t any problems.  He is still having to go to work, which is a blessing in itself as he can get out and clear his head, regroup, and when he gets home he is ready to take care of things thru the evening and thru the night.  Lindsey has a wonderful girl, who has been her friend for years, taking care of her throughout the day and she has been a huge blessing for Josh and her family.

          Now what?  I want you to know that first and foremost, we need to keep our hope alive and the prayers and positive energy flowing.  We realize that the course Lindsey is on is not the one we were hoping for, which was to be healed and live a long and full life with her best friend Josh.  Indications; continuous seizure activity and another major seizure on Saturday afternoon while taking fairly heavy doses of anti-seizure medication, are that the tumors are progressing and placing pressure on her brain.  The seizure which landed her in the hospital has taken its toll. She has less fluid thought and has trouble at times putting it all together.  The feeding tube remains and helps to get necessary fluids, medications, etc administered.  However, she still has the fierce determination which has caused her to beat all the time limits the Dr.s had placed upon her.  Friday nite she very much wanted to go have a little fire up the canyon and did just that.  She even walked the entire distance from the truck, down the path, across the bridge and to the little site we were at.  She never ceases to amaze me.  She had a beautiful morning with her Mom and sisters and then had another major seizure on Saturday afternoon.  Josh is handling everything extremely well.  He’s in hyper mode watching for any sign of trouble but being very stable and a strength for Lindsey.

          At this point I’m not going to get into the details of what will more than likely occur over the next days to weeks but we know that our time with Lindsey here is limited.  This is not a discussion each of us needs to have with her and please don’t flood their phones with calls.  I believe these conversations are for her and Josh to have alone together.  Your love and support have been there, we know it is there, and we have found that place where peace resides.  There has been so much to be thankful for on this incredible journey that Lindsey has allowed each one of us to be a part of with her.  It has been as individual for Joshua, her family, friends, people she has inspired, even people who don’t even know her, as it has for her.  We have each taken something from this experience and hopefully allowed it to take a foothold in our souls to the extent that we never forget what we have learned.  I know for myself that my life will never be the same.  I hope to love deeper, be more and live more than I ever have before.  Yes, Lindsey will forever be a part of me and I love her more than I can ever express.

          In the days and weeks ahead I encourage you to pray for peace, understanding and freedom of pain for Lindsey and Josh.  I want you to know that she has experienced the miracle of absolutely no pain.  The oncology nurse who lives next door told me that is unheard of with what she is going through, yet she has not had to have one dose of pain medication.  I will keep you updated as best I can.  Again, there is much peace to be found and we are experiencing that.  Thank you, thank you to you all.

With thanks and deepest love,

Julie

June 13th, 2011 Update

Hello Everyone,

Many of you have already heard that Lindsey suffered a massive seizure
yesterday morning around 10a.  She was brushing her teeth, Josh had gone to work
and her sister was sitting with her in the room.  Her Mom heard her fall and
rushed in while her sister ran next door.  Their neighbor is an oncology nurse
and Lindsey’s friend.  They were able to administer the shots with anti-seizure
medication, call Josh, and call hospice.

 Mark and I were in St. George when we received the call.
She experienced several more seizures throughout the day.
The hospice nurses were really good and got her set up with oxygen, IV,
medications, etc.  It was a very long day for Lindsey and the family but I just
came from being with Josh and Lindsey today at lunch and though tired and weak
she is doing much better.

There haven’t been any seizures today.  While I was there she wanted her notebook to write in

and when Josh was being helpful and writing what had happened today she gave him that look

that says “I was trying to do that”!

I told her about being in Zions National Park and doing the hike
we all did together in 2009. I told her about taking an honorary platypus
picture (Jenny, Lindsey, and I took one in 2009 and it’s one of my favorites)
She smiled and looked at me deeply. She isn’t able to speak yet but was
trying. I told her we would all go again in the fall. Another big smile. It
made my heart happy.

She drew Josh close and kissed him several times and wanted him to hold her hand.
I think these are very big improvements over what we experienced yesterday.
As I was leaving I told her I loved her and would be back later.
She waved goodbye to me.  Another good sign.

Please keep her in your prayers.  I posted the event yesterday on FB
because that’s all I was able to do mobile.  I will keep you posted as I’m able
with her progress.  I know we all have a interest in what happens here.  It has
been a journey to be sure.  A friend of mine posted this and I feel it’s
appropriate to share with you.

“When the Japanese mend broken objects, they
aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when
something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.”
~Barbara Bloom

I’m not inferring that Lindsey’s broken by any means, but that our experience with

Lindsey’s journey and being able to share in it with her and Joshua have made our

lives more beautiful.  We are filling in our broken bits with the gold of knowing her

and having her in our lives.  And truth be told, Lindsey is one of the most beautiful

people I have ever known.

With love,

Julie

Sacrament Meeting Talk given by Josh's cousin Brandon Karr May 28, 2011

The 7^th Article of Faith

Sacrament Meeting talk given by Brandon Karr May 28, 2011

When I was asked to speak today, I was asked to speak on the 7^th Article of Faith. 

It reads: 

“We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.” 

...I am going to focus on just one of the items in the article, “healing”, which as I'll explain in a moment why, is very near and dear to my family...(pause)... 

In the June 2008 Ensign,  Elder Alexander B. Morrison speaks about healing.  He talks about Christ's healing powers and how they extend beyond physical ailments to include “all manner of disease among the people”.  This means that he not only heals people with physical ailments, but also those with mental or emotional ailments.  These healings are an integral component of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. 

            The Savior can heal all with his powers, but mortal men with the Melchizedek Priesthood are subject to his will.  Sometimes, we are not able to heal an afflicted person, because God's will is otherwise.  In 2^nd Corinthians, the Apostle Paul sought out the Savior three times asking him to remove an unidentified “thorn in the flesh”.  The Savior declined his request, explaining:  “My grace is sufficient to thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”  Paul then understood that tribulation and suffering are both necessary and inevitable parts of life. 

Because we have felt the power of prayer and healing, it is something that has really affected my family for the last few months, and there have been a lot of feelings from tender moments that have been very close to the surface,  

I have some cousin's, Josh & Lindsey Karr, that are currently going through a “”thorn in the flesh” as mentioned;  as she(Lindsey) has many tumors that medical professionals have deemed at this point untreatable: the following excerpts are from an email sent to our family in February of this year:

Dear Family, Friends, and loved ones.

It's been a season of peace and healing for us since Lindsey finished her radiation treatments.  We have watched her gain weight, have no pain, start to drive, begin teaching lessons again, of course her laughter never left her. It's what makes Lindsey so unique and amazing is that despite all her adversity her view of life always has remained optimistic and full of love for all those around her, especially Josh who has been by her side (and as he said they have grown so close thru this experience that he couldn't have hoped for more) We have truly been blessed.

However, just 2 days ago on Sunday Josh and Lindsey had their first get away since her radiation treatments ended. They were staying in SL and during dinner Lindsey looked at Josh and said it felt like she was having a seizure.  He gathered her up and rushed to the ER. 

The medical team began treating her with anti seizure medication which made her very groggy.  Her speech began to slur and she began having pain.  The cat scan that was ordered did not show any fluid build up in the brain, and  we were hoping that a previous shunt had plugged or was malfunctioning and that we would get it fixed and move on.  More tests were going to be done so they admitted her to Neuro ICU, where she is currently.

As you can imagine our emotions have been high.  While she rested. we got the information back from the radiologist who conferred on her case when we were at the hospital last time.  He told us that it appeared the tumor had spread throughout the membrane which surrounds her brain and it is totally encompassed now by the disease.  We tried to take in what was being said and still hoping that what we were looking at would end up being something else.  Josh was devastated.  The neurosurgeon came in to see us as soon as he was thru with his surgery.  He and his team broke the news to us that if what we were looking at would have been infection she would already be gone.  Indeed, the tumors have spread throughout her brain and there is no more treatment that can be done...  as this news was soaking in,  thoughts of what we knew...  that the radiation treatments she had were going to be a one time chance to conquer this horrible disease which took such a toll on Lindsey, and that chemotherapy is not effective in these cases.  It was very difficult being told by all the doctors that proceeded to come and see us that there was nothing more to be done.

Josh is trying to come to terms with the information we received yesterday.  It was one of the most emotionally devastating days of my life, and I felt wholly inadequate in trying to comfort my son at facing life without his best friend.  We are taking Lindsey home today and will enlist hospice care to care for her for the time we have left.  Josh decided that she will be moved into her parents home, where Lindsey and he will move back into, to spend her last days or weeks surrounded by her family.   We do not know how much time we will have with Lindsey.  At this point she regained consciousness  for a short time last night and Josh was kneeling by her bed.  She looked at him and told him she loved him.  She reached her face over and kissed him all over his face and said she loved him again. 

He just lit up.  She has a hard time speaking and we don't know how much coherency she will regain.  It was a beautiful moment.

We love you all very much.  We have been surrounded by the love and prayers which have been offered on the kids and our behalf.  Please continue to do this.  Now, more than ever, we are in need of strength we do not possess.

With love (and a broken heart)

Julie(Josh Karr's Mother)

As you can see this is a situation where man has stepped aside, and we are clearly dependent on the powers of Heaven. 

They gave my cousin only days, or at best, weeks to live at that point, and sent her home to be “comfortable” which in itself doesn't make much sense to me. 

The story doesn't end there however, Lindsey, as she has put it says “I am still here, and I am not going anywhere”!  She is no ordinary person, she simply refuses to give up.  She and Josh are an inspiration to me, through their extreme circumstances, love of life and sheer optimism.

Since February, Lindsey has been in the news papers, and featured on KSL news, for her amazing happiness,  love of life, and  putting others before herself, regardless of her circumstances, she is truly an inspiring.

She has a credo which is “Living Life through laughter” which has sustained her and Josh though the past months.  The Healing power of the priesthood, and of the many prayers offered on her behalf, have kept her here longer than any of the medical teams ever expected...

Back in February, Lindsey and Josh asked our family to set an alarm to remind us to pray for her at 5:55 pm every day, which we do happily.  She has since told us that she can actually feel the healing power of the the prayers.

This has helped to build my testimony of prayer, and healing through the power of the priesthood, which I have seen first hand in the lives of my family.  I say this in the Holy name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Happy Birthday Lindsey!!

Hello Everyone!!

Today our sweet Lindsey turns 25!! It is a sign of good luck that she is turning 25 on the 25th! We know this will be her best birthday yet and we encourage each of you to drop her a note via the blog www.forlindsey.blogspot.com or on Facebook on the For Lindsey page, her FB page, Lindsey Kae Robinson Karr!

As an update, Lindsey is doing amazingly well. They have reduced her steroids again and the swelling is gradually coming down. You can imagine that has been fairly uncomfortable for her. We could see it in her face and tummy but it was seriously affecting her elbows and knees. With the reduction of the steroid she is doing much better. Josh and Lindsey came made it over for dinner on Sunday and honestly, watching her, it was just like always. She was happy, laughing, eating, and really enjoying the day. She didn't get tired (really good) and I could see our healthy happy Lindsey shining through. It was another encouraging moment.

As an added note, if you will check out www.livingthroughlaughter.com there is now a $2 donation button. It seems when I stated that if we could get each person who visited the site to simply donate $2 what a difference that would make. I think sometimes we think that if we can't do alot then it's better to do nothing. This isn't the case. All the smallest of donations add up. Really, that's just a little more than a soda! Also, there is a contest to guess the actual amount which was raised at the run. The winner will received a signed print of "The Power of Hope"! I know I mentioned earlier a general amount which the run raised but it changed so hop on and enter the contest!!

Love you all,

Julie

Success!!

Hello Everyone, I'm exhausted!!

How's that for starting out the update? Actually, it says that things are going really well and there has been alot going on and I'm sorry for keeping you waiting on an update, especially for those who live out of state and have been waiting to see how things have gone.

5K Run, Silent Auction and Bake Sale

The event was held this last Saturday at the beautiful Inlet Park in Saratoga Springs. The weather was perfect and the committee was there setting up early. Many people that couldn't participate in the walk volunteered to help that morning and things got underway very smoothly. 400 shirts had been purchased for the event with approx 260 being pre-ordered. The air was full of positive energy and as the time came to begin the parking lot began to fill, the parking lot next to us and all along the street were full of cars. The Ambulance, Fire Truck and even animal control (for those runners who got a little out of hand :) ) showed up with the Saratoga Springs Fire Dept to support the event. Family and friends were gathered around registering, buying shirts, checking out the Silent Auction items and buying goodies. Lindsey was able to make it and there were cheers in the air when she arrived! This was for her and she was there to lend her love for the outpouring she was receiving. Mascots from local restaurants were there chasing the kids and taking pictures. It really was awesome. The runners lined up and the sirens started the Run. Josh was one of the last ones to leave and he ran the entire way for Lindsey even though he hadn't trained at all! During the run, an anonymous donor placed a bid on Josh's painting of "The Power of Hope" for $1000! Grandma Butler was pretty sad as she was hoping to walk away with her bid but we were all ecstatic with the generous offer. It really set the tone for the rest of the auction and bake sale. Nearly all of the shirts were sold and every item in the auction found a home. The generous donations for the bake sale (Josh's cousin Stephanie, made 150 cinnamon rolls) just as an example and nearly all the items were purchased by the end of the event. Lindsey was able to stay for the entire thing and we had professional photographers taking pictures and Josh and Lindsey were able to express their love and gratitude. Deals That Matter presented their first check to the kids of nearly $900! It just kept getting better. What a wonderful, wonderful day! We will never be able to thank the committee enough for the hours of work that went into organizing and pulling off this event. It really came off without a hitch and the last word was with the Run, Bake Sale and Auction were able to raise nearly $10,000. I would like to thank the committe personally - Elise Parker, Kim Stanford, Jenna Meyers, Whitney Williams, Kirsten Meyers - Committee
MarKey Mayne, Katie Springer, Jana Bishop, Lindsey Hortin, Anna Bergstrom - Auction/Bake Sale, Ericka & Amber Belnap - The Ink Spot (t-shirt printing)
Tate Denna - Deals That Matter Cause Director, Amber Jones, Tonni Hamilton - Scentsy, Jamie Robinson & Nicholette Adams (our photographers), Andy Baker, and my friends and family who were there and worked as volunteers - Bruce Allen, Karen Kelly, Kathryn Little, Linda Donaldson, and Sherri and Bert Steele.

Day of Beauty

Next, on Monday, the 16th Tiffany Lunnen, Josh's cousin, organized through the salon she works at, a Day of Beauty. The owner of the Salon, Jamie Johnson, didn't even know Lindsey but heard her story and was anxious to help. They have 15 stations in the salon and they broadcast the event through this list, FB, and word of mouth. She planned on donating 100% of all services yesterday to Lindsey and when I arrived in the afternoon the Salon was hopping. Lindsey was even able to make an appearance in the afternoon. The girls at the Salon got a picture with Lindsey and some were moved to tears. It was incredibly touching. The event was supposed to end at 7p but when I left with Lindsey the waiting room was packed and I drove by later at 8:30 and they were still going!! I know Tiffany began the day at 7:30a. Just an example of how people are willing to give. It was awesome and they raised nearly $1400 in the process and are leaving a donation jar out in the salon for the remainder of the week! I'm all about karma so the name of her Salon is Ella Bloom and is located at 146 S State in Lindon. 801-785-6777. They do it all, give them a call!

Channel 5 News Interview

So yesterday morning Carole Makita of Channel 5 news phoned me after speaking with Tiffany regarding the Day of Beauty. She had received an email and thought Lindsey's story was one that needed to be told. She phoned at 11a and the interview took place with her and Josh at 12:30 and then aired on the news at 6p. I think that is pretty amazing!! We had contacted other news stations regarding Lindsey's story and were so grateful that KSL ended up being the ones to tell the story. I'm including the link for those who missed it or want to keep viewing it (like me). Following the interview last night nearly 500 hits to the blog occurred. Sincere messages of encouragement were received and things falling into place for the next event to take place without us pursuing it. INCREDIBLE!!

Lindon woman's battle with cancer inspires those around her - ksl.com

www.ksl.com

Lindsey Karr is defying the odds while her family and friends are doing everything they can to help. They are rallying around her because she inspires them.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

I know I sound like a broken record but the best thing we can do is to spread Lindsey's story and get people to donate. All the $ from the Celebration of Life have gone to Lindseys care and healing. Nothing has yet been applied to the medical bills. To Josh, his duty is to help Lindsey heal and that is where the $ and focus have been. The weight of the bills is something Josh still bears. The only way to ease that burden is to share and motivate. There have been over 23000 hits to the blog since the journey began last July. If each one of those people donated $2 can you imagine the good that would do?!!! I think sometimes we think that we can't contribute a large amount and so we won't contribute anything. PLEASE encourage small donations, they add up. What can I say to you to get everyone to forward this information to their email and FB networks? There is still much to be done and as the family the simplest thing we can do is to ask for your help. I'm asking and many have stepped forward, shared their talents and hearts and time. Buoyed us up when we were low and encouraged us in times of discouragement. Lindsey raises us all, let's take a minute out of our busy days and pay her back in some small way. Forward an email, share her story with our friends, ask them to donate. Look at the good that has been done by doing those simple tasks.

I know I share Lindsey's love for all of you. She has been humbled by the outpouring of work on her behalf. Let's keep up the good fight and make a difference!!

Julie

The Power of Hope

This is a digital painting Josh Karr did for his wife, Lindsey. There is so much love and time that went into this incredible piece of art. We thank Josh for being so willing to share this with all of the people who have been inspired by Lindsey.

An 18x24 framed copy of "The Power of Hope" will be sold at the silent auction this Saturday, May 14 from 8.30 - 10.30 am.

If you cannot attend the auction, please email livingthroughlaughter@gmail.com if you would like to purchase "The Power of Hope"

Silent Auction & Bake Sale

Even if you are not running in the Run For Lindsey 5k, please support Lindsey Karr by stopping by the:

Living Through Laughter Silent Auction and Bake Sale
May 14, 8:30-10:30 approx.

Inlet Park, Saratoga Springs
This will be held in conjunction with the Run for Lindsey 5K

Just a few items to look forward to.........

• Autographed items from Real Salt Lake Major League Soccer



• A Navigation System - courtesy of MEGA GPS



• Photo sessions by local talented photographers



• Gift Basket of crafting supplies - courtesy of Stampin' Up



• Gift Basket - courtesy of American Fork Chick-Fil-A



• Luggage Set - courtesy of Missionary Mall



• Emergency Preparedness Supplies - courtesy of The Ready Store



• Passes to Momentum Climbing Gym - courtesy of Momentum



• Many hand crafted items for babies (car seat covers, ties, bows, etc)



• Hand crafted items for toddlers



• and much more!

And just when you thought it couldn't get any better, there will be an out of this world Bake Sale with enough incredible items to make sure all your sugary cravings are taken care of!

All the money raised will go directly to Lindsey & Josh Karr. All checks can be written out to Josh and Lindsey Karr.

You DO NOT have to be present at the end of the auction to win and collect your items. You can leave contact info and we will arrange to get it to you.

If you want more information on volunteering, donating items for the bake sale, or if you would like to donate an item for the silent auction, please contact livingthroughlaughter@gmail.com ASAP!

Thank you all for your amazing support.

Infant & Toddler Living Through Laughter

Supporters of Lindsey! Friends, family, business owners, business visitors, people who don't even know Lindsey! This is for YOU!

INFANT AND TODDLER LIVING THROUGH LAUGHTER SHIRTS are available! Only $5

We will be putting in the Living Through Laughter t-shirt order TOMORROW, THURSDAY MAY 5. Now is your last chance to guarantee your size of t-shirt.

We will be ordering only a small number of extra shirts, so pre-order your shirt now! You will pay for your shirt when you pick it up or prior to shipping if you are out of state. Right now we just need your sizes and quantities. http://lindseylivingthroughlaughter.blogspot.com/p/t-shirt-pre-order.html

Update!

Hello Everyone,

I can't believe it has been a few weeks since I sent out an actual update!  Businesses, committees, and individuals have been busy organizing upcoming events on behalf of Lindsey and I've been trying to keep all of you updated so you don't miss an opportunity to participate and to help the kids.  However, I want this email to be just about Lindsey and how she is doing.

It's been 10 weeks since that day in the Neuro ICU at IMED when they told us there was nothing more they could do.  I'm sure if the medical community could see Lindsey today they would be astounded at how well she really is doing.  They expected her to only be with us a few days to a couple of weeks and Lindsey is not just holding her own but actually improving!  Call it what you will, but in my book that constitutes a miracle.  In the last couple of weeks especially we seen more clarity of thought, which is better than the somewhat 'cloudy' place she had been.  Lindsey is a brilliant girl as many of you know and it was very frustrating to her to not be able to keep her line of thought for very long.  She keeps a notebook with her at all times and writes down everything she has just done so that nothing is forgotten and then writes down everything she needs to do.  She has a fairly strict schedule for herself to keep throughout the day which includes "Green Drink" 3 times a day. (yummy)  haha.  Healing sessions in Chi Quong, eating entirely vegan (which with summer approaching I'm thinking is a better idea all the time :) and eating on time amongst other things.  To me, that in itelf, is remarkable.  Honestly, I think of myself in this situation and I'm not sure how motivated I would be to do much of anything but here is our girl making lists and accomplishing big tasks for herself!  Amazing!!

This week Josh had to return to work.  You may remember that he has been on leave and been taking care of Lindsey 24/7 since Feb 14th, he could stay on leave but would lose the insurance benefit after 12 weeks so he had to go back.  The good news is that Lindsey is doing well enough that he felt ok about this decision.  They are still living at her parents house in Highland and a friend of hers has recently returned from a mission and they've hired her to care for Lindsey until Josh can get back home in the late afternoon.  It seems to be going really well and Lindsey is feeling comfortable with the arrangement, which makes us all happy. 

An observation I have made is in Lindseys eyes.  She has some of the most beautiful eyes a girl could have as you can see from her pictures.  I've noticed that the stress of the disease seems to be reflecting in her eyes.  There have been days when I look at Lindsey and even though her sense of humor and smile never fade you can see the toll the tumors have taken, however, last week as I looked at her it was as though all the stress had left and there were those beautiful eyes free from the terrible struggle of the last year.  It was a revelation to me that all that she is doing is working! 

In February, when we were at the hospital they told us that she should now eat and do whatever she wanted since they held no hope for her.  I have no doubt that if we had listened to them then that she would be in a far worse state than she is right now.  I'm grateful every day for her determination and willpower.  She wakes each morning and the battle begins and she doesn't waver but heads straight into battle with a blazing smile! 

Don't forget to check for the upcoming events scheduled.  Run For Lindsey - May 14th  www.runforlindsey.com
Day of Beauty - May 16th

Deals That Matter - New deals daily - currently 100% of the proceeds are going to Lindsey.

 If you can't attend either event consider making a donation on the Pay Pal link on the blog AND PLEASE make sure you are sharing the blog or webpages with your friends.  If everyone even made a $5 or $10 donation it would add up to substantial amount!

Also, there is now a website www.Livingthroughlaughter.com that has more comprehensive information that is being promoted to businesses to solicit donations on Lindsey's behalf.  If you work for a company or know of a company that would be willing to do so please forward them this link.

Thanks everyone and KEEP SMILING!

Love,

Julie

Living Through Laughter

Check out Lindsey's webpage - Living Through Laughter!
Purchase or Pre-Order T-Shirts, become a sponsor, and much more.
www.livingthroughlaughter.com

Living Through Laughter T-Shirt

We are happy to announce the new look of the Living Through Laughter t-shirt. Please fill out this form if you would like a t-shirt. You will not pay for the shirt at this time - this is clearly to give us an idea of what sizes we need to order. This WILL guarantee that you get the size(es) you want.

If you would like to become a sponsor of Living Through Laughter, please contact livingthroughlaughter@gmail.com

UPCOMING EVENTS!

Hi All!

 

Lindsey is still doing great.  I can't tell you how wonderful it is to hear her voice, have her laugh, order Josh around (haha) and be gaining weight.  All of her tenacity definitely works in her favor.  We know the kids are being blessed every day and the moment you take at 5:55 I really believe makes a difference.  Keep up the good energy!

 

So....we have alot of dedicated people wanted to help make a difference in easing the burden that we know Josh and Lindsey face everyday.  Even in the face of the disease there are bills to pay.  It seems cruel that you can't just concentrate on surviving and gaining ground but also have to deal with the costs of such a journey along with regular bills that keep coming in.  You all know that Josh has been on leave from his work since February 15 and the efforts going into these events will be greatly appreciated.

 

WHAT'S UPCOMING!!

 

I believe, for the most part, you are all aware of the "Run For Lindsey" www.runforlindsey.com which is planned for May 14th.  There has been a very dedicated team of individuals working to make this event successful.  We have donations towards the event open up from no where and we are very grateful.  Make sure you go to the website and check it out, register, buy a T-shirt or make a donation.  It doesn't matter if you can run, if you want to participate there is a way for you to do it!

 

Also, I mentioned there will be a day of beauty.  I'm changing it to a "Day of Pampering" Who can't use that?!!!  If you are otherwise engaged for the run, then this event is scheduled for May 16th, a Monday at the Ella Bloom Salon in Lindon.  100% of the proceeds of all the services offered given that day to people who mention Lindsey will go to Lindsey.  It's a wonderful way to also participate and get a little something in return.  If you have a regular stylist then get a deep condition or a brow wax.  I think I'll drag Mark in there for the nose wax, though he doesn't know it yet!  lol.  Manicures, pedicures for spring!!  Come on people!!!  Below are the services and their prices.  My niece Tiffany has put this all together and they are also trying to get the word out.

 

I want to mention that if any of you who have employers who are willing to put up information regarding either of these events or would like to be a sponsor for the run, please let us know.  You never know if someone will be willing to help until you ask.  I'm asking you, please do the same.

 

We love you all.  We are eternally grateful for all the love and support which comes our way.  You will never know the impact the kindness that has been shown has had.  It makes the difference between a day full of trepidation and distress into a day with light and joy.  The world is in need and this is one small way to make a change. 

 

With love always,

Julie

 

Monday May 16th jfrom 10-7 and it will be by appointment preferred but walk in's are welcome,
The number to the salon is 801-785-6777
It is called Ella Bloom, the address is 146 S. State Street Lindon, UT 84042
The services that we will be doing are:
Womens cuts $25
Mens Cuts $15
Kids Cuts (under 10) $10
Style $15.00
Deep Conditioners $20.00
Brow wax $15
Lip wax $10
Nose wax $10
Manicure $20
Mini Pedicure $15
Brow/Lash tint $15

Run For Lindsey 5k

We are so excited to announce RUN FOR LINDSEY 5k! Lindsey has touched and influenced lives everywhere, and this is our chance to give back.

RACE INFO

May 14, 2011
Inlet Park in Saratoga Springs, UT

Race will begin at 9am

Registration is $15 per entry

visit: http://runforlindsey.com/ for more information

T-SHIRT

A Living Through Laughter T-Shirt is available to purchase for $10. This shirt shares Lindsey's motto with the world. The first 50 participants to sign up for the race will receive a t-shirt included in their registration fee. In an effort to raise as much money to pay for Lindsey's medical bills, 100% of the proceeds from the race registry and t-shirt sales will go to Lindsey. Shirts will be available to everyone.

Where ever you may be, coast to coast, you can share Lindsey's message and her story by wearing a Living Through Laughter tee!

SPONSOR

Many companies are sponsoring the race and Lindsey's cause and we invite all companies interested in sponsorship to inquire by emailing sponsor@runforlindsey.com. All sponsors will be featured on runforlindsey.com, sponsors donating $100+ will have their logo on the back of the Living Through Laughter Tee, and will be recognized by thousands as a supporter of Josh and Lindsey Karr.

Please visit www.runforlindsey.com to register for the race or purchase Living Through Laughter t-shirts.

Because together, we can help the Karrs!

Ways to donate:

1. Run for Lindsey!

2. Support Lindsey through Deals That Matter. Local charities have raised thousands of dollars in a weeks time, but this was only made possible because supporters share the information with everyone they know.

3. Purchase a Living Through Laughter Tee.

4. Donate to Lindsey's paypal account.

Run for Lindsey Button: Post this button with a link to runforlindsey.com on your blog.

"He who laughs......lasts"

Hello everyone,

 

I've been pondering over this update for a few days.  What do I want to project from the words I write telling you of Lindseys continuing strivings to heal?  How do I convey the emotions I feel without overwhelming each one of you?  There is alot of information I pour into these updates and most importantly I want to remain positive so I wait until I'm not tired, exhausted, frustrated, overwhelmed, etc...  I guess you can see why it's been a couple of weeks since I wrote!

 

First of all I want you to know that Lindsey's attitude, is as ever, unfailing in communicating happiness, love, positive emotions, and laughter.  That never changes no matter what she faces each day.  I wonder if we can even begin to imagine being 24 years old and be in a time in life when energy is abounding, dreams and hopes always present, and abillities and physical stature to be at your peak and be forced to deal with an illness that leaves you struggling for each one of those things.  I wonder if it were me how positive I would remain on a day to day basis.  Yet, despite all the restrictions this illness has placed on Lindsey, it is not only a rare occurrence, but one I never see, to see her feel pity for herself or give in the temptation of depression that I'm sure would plague most of us if this were our journey. 

 

Josh and Lindsey experienced great healing which took place in Minnesota with the help of Master Lin, the Qiyoung ( pronounce Chi gong) master.  You may remember that last time I sent an update hospice had reduced her medication and she had more sensation in her legs which was void for many months.  However, we had a set back.  While in MN Lindsey had some significant seizures.  The doctors believe it was the reduction in medication and to treat her they put her on a very powerful anti-seizure medication that kept her very sedated.  Every 3 hours they administered this drug Adavan.  Pam and I flew out on Monday last week to help the kids out.  They were in good hands with Brett and Lori Robinson, Lindseys aunt and uncle, but we had a very strong confirmation that we needed to be there.  We were very glad we made the trip as the kids responded to their parents being there to help, love, and support them thru yet another stay in the hospital.  And true to Lindsey's determination and will, she came out of the state she was in well enough to be released on Wednesday that same week!  It never ceases to amaze me how deep she digs to turn each event around and smile thru the entire process.  We spoke of very profound things during this time and suprisingly she remembers most of it.  The embarrassing stuff she chooses to forget!  haha.  Very smart girl.  I'm saving those for her for later :)

 

They chose to remain in MN and finish the healing treatments she started.  I couldn't believe it when the very next day of being released from the hospital she took in an entire day of sessions.  WHAT?!  I would have thought maybe an hour or 2 but not 8 hours.  This is the determination that drives her forward.  The kids flew home this last Monday, the 21st and we are very glad they are back.  She will continue with the methods that she learned while they were away and I encourage you to check out the links which were part of the last posting to the blog and see what she has been up to.

 

So now what?  I want you all to know that if you are someone who is participating in the 5:55 moment that Lindsey literally feels your love coming her way.  There is so much we don't understand in this universe.  If you are a skeptic, it doesn't matter.  Do it because it's what Lindsey needs.  If you believe this moment each day helps then make that moment be filled with even more energy and love.  Some days it's hard to stop at the very the second my phone alarm goes off.  I was on the phone one day and the person continued talking and I quietly took my moment.  Maybe what I should have done was include them and I will next time!  I really believe that not only will Lindsey be blessed with peace but so will each person who pauses in their busy day to do something for someone else.

 

For the future, I don't know honestly.  I'm a human being with anxieties, fears, confusion but also a person and child of God with great hope and belief.  A lady who has become a dear friend of mine in a very short period of time wrote me the most beautiful thing in the midst of this journey we are all a part of and it lingers in my mind constantly each day.  I hope it gives you the same peace that it gives me for I know where it comes from and whom.

 

"None of us knows what the future holds, but we know who holds it"  

 

I pray we each keep in mind how blessed we are everyday.  I don't care if you are a religious, spiritual, emotional, or whatever type person you believe yourself to be.  If you wake up and take a breath unencumbered by pain then you are truly blessed.  Make the most of each day.  Don't squander how wonderful this life is and how many peoples lives you can touch because you are able to.  We all experience challenges but I know without a doubt in my heart that none more so than Lindsey Karr's journey at this very moment....and she continues to smile.  "He who laughs....lasts" 

 

With love,

Julie

Do You Believe in Miracles?

Hello Everyone!

I must say that February 2011 was a rollercoaster ride for sure.  A close friend once told me that I enjoyed the rollercoaster of life.  That I would be unsettled if it were anything else.  The truth is that I wouldn't mind the kiddie rides for a while.  February was filled with such emotional extremes that I don't know how we all kept it together but it was a month I will personally never forget, nor will many of you.

Just to recap, Feb 13th, Lindsey was admitted back to Neuro ICU with yet another seizure after a long period of treatment and recovery.  She was gaining weight, happy (of course), getting back to teaching, etc.  Josh and Lindsey were on their first outing since the discovery of the tumors up her spine last year.  Feb 14th.  We were given the shocking and devastating news that the tumors had spread throughout her brain and medically there was nothing more to be done.  We were all sent home to face a bleak future.  But in the midst of heartache came great love and support.  An outpouring so great that we could not have anticipated the enormity of it.  In fact, it was posted that we had over 1400 hits to Lindsey's blog on one day!  Incredible.  So many emails, texts, phone calls, FB messages that it was almost overwhelming to try to keep up with everything.  However, keep up we did and even springboarded into getting the "Celebration of Life" planned and executed by Feb 28th.  We had nearly 700 people come and we received enough donations to ease the anxiety a bit.  It was an evening I always hold close to my heart.  Emotionally, it was wonderful.  The amount of people we had participate showed the support for Lindsey and Josh and it turned out to actually be a turning point in this journey.

What came next:  Mar 2nd, Lindsey and Josh flew to Minnesota to the Mayo Clinic.  I need to clarify something at this point.  Master Lin, whom Lindsey is working with works hand in hand with the physicians at the Mayo Clinic but is actually not based at the clinic itself.  Lindsey wanted me to make sure I got that right.  We must remember that the medical community has done all they know how to do.  The next step was to check out alternative healing processes and that is exactly what happened.  Master Lin is a Qigong master who does ancient chinese healing.  I encourage you to take a few minutes and watch the links which are posted on the blog along with Josh's personal note to you all.  At first, I'll admit, I wasn't sure what to think but I felt such a spirit of confirmation after watching the links and speaking with Josh that they are on the right track.  Lindsey has feelings and sensations in her legs she hasn't had since last year when the tumors became agressive up her spine.  She is more alert and lucid in her thoughts.  Josh said she looks better.  Most impressively, the hospice nurse told them there is no reason for her to be on hospice.  They have taken her off and reduced her medications dramatically.  I want you to understand that medically this should not be happening yet here it is happening before our very eyes.  Medically, she should have been on a downward spiral not climbing back to the summit, which is what she is doing.  Do you believe in miracles?  I ask myself this question many times each day.  I want so much to believe and hope but I've been cautious.  I have changed my mind however, and embracing this turn of events with all my soul.  And that is what Lindsey needs us all to do.  Do we understand the power of prayer, fasting, postive energy, light, all the good thoughts and expressions of love that have been sent her way?  I don't think we do, or at least I didn't.  I know they have had an impact.  I know the healing that is taking place is doing great things.  I hope to be able to write you that Lindsey is 100% cured against all odds and I believe and hope that I will be able to do that. 

Lindsey and Josh have extended their time in Minnesota until the 21st.  What I'm asking for each one of you is to remain postive, keep hope alive and if you communicate with Lindsey keep it full of light.  All the sorrow can go somewhere else!  We've experienced enough to last a lifetime.  She needs us now more than ever so that the summit can be attained and the flag of victory planted firmly there.  We are her team of supporters.  Let's continue in those efforts. 

Please don't forget that 5:55 am/pm has been designated as Lindseys moment.  Please pause at that time to offer prayer or positive energy to be sent for her.  A sweet friend of mine told me that she feels such peace during that moment and Lindsey has told me she can actually feel the energy coming her way. 

You are all amazing.  We are fighting the good fight and it's one we want to win.  Don't forget to share the blog with everyone you know.  www.forlindsey.blogspot.com and urge them to donate.  Also, remember to check out Deals that Matter on FB and choose "Living Through Laughter" as your cause.  I know there is a committe planning a "Run for Lindsey" and details with be forthcoming.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for the outpouring of love we've experienced.

With love and warmth,

Julie

Email from Josh:

These are some of the links on you tube about testimonials from people with cancer who were healed by qigong from the clinic we are at. I thought you would be interested in watching these and sharing. Lindsey looks amazing since she has been here, and when she comes out of the sessions she is beaming and smiling, at peace and full of hope and light. I know that it is hard to not be here to see how things are going, so I wanted to tell you that she is walking better, she has more energy, she in more grounded and lucid in thought. and it has only been a few days. keep sending that positive energy and encourage family to not only to be positive, but to actually believe that Lindsey is getting better. We believe in miracles to the amount that we are going to see them manifest! I hope this helps you get a sense of what is going on out here.

                                                                                                                                                    - Josh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVhZ0dteLU4    newscast

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy-1GU4sfdw     stage 4 cancer patient healed testimonial that has not been to the clinic but has teleconferenced

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9wIFW3pFnE    stage 4 cancer patient testimonial about current results


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5Ze5HdtcI8       chunyi lin in on tv news segment who is the person who lindsey is working with