Hello Everyone,
First, I want to thank all of the love and support, notes and phone calls we received yesterday. They were full of expressions of prayer and concern and we are truly grateful to everyone. This has been an emotionally and physically exhausting couple of days and these have strengthened us each time a note popped up on my phone or in my inbox or on FB. It really helped more than you know.
It never ceases to amaze me at the fierce determination of this wonderful girl. I called Joshua yesterday morning to see how the night had gone, not expecting much change but when I phoned he put me on speaker phone and there was Lindsey saying 'Hello' in her big Lindsey voice and laughing. I couldn't believe it. I spoke to her for a few moments, it felt so good to hear her voice. When Mark and I arrived at the hospital she was sitting up and talking with Josh and us. She was eating some breakfast. It was so wonderful. They had administered a steroid (sorry, I can't think of the name) and it reduces the swelling in her brain and helps to make her more alert. It was a night and day change. She was joking with her Dad and talking to all of us. Her speech improved more as the day wore on. Her appetite is good. She was able to get up and shower with the help of an aid. She was very adament about making to her sister, Savannah's, last basketball game. She had a dream that she needed to be there. So we packed everything up. Got hospice arranged before we left the hospital and took her home. She was exhausted but we did make it to the game with all of us cheering on the sidelines. It meant the world to her sister, who is really struggling with the news.
Up to this point we still had not told Lindsey her prognosis. Josh wanted her to be able to enjoy the day being alert, and happy, and being, well....Lindsey. It was the right choice. Josh needed that day as much as Lindsey. We protected her from anyone saying anything and it was a wonderful reprieve from the previous days news. Following the game Mark and I, her parents, and Josh gathered her in her parents room to break the news to her. Josh knelt down by the bed and held her hand, looked in her eyes and was getting serious when Lindsey said loudly "Is this bad news"?!!! and yanked her hand away and put on her pouty face. She was laughing. Josh was trying to compose himself and it rattled him but he just started over. He told her about the tumor spreading thru the membrane surrounding her brain. She moaned and thru herself on the bed but in a playful, funny way. She came right out and said "Am I dying"?! We didn't give her any prognosis as far as time remaining. There really is no point to that. When Josh continued on, Lindsey sat up in bed with her legs crossed and adamently patted her legs and her arms and very determinedly stated "I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere" True Lindsey form. The only time she cried was when she realized why her sister was so emotional at Lindsey making it to her game. She wasn't thinking of herself, she cried because she knew her sister was in pain. Oh, she is the most amazing person on this earth. Instead of how I thought it was going to go with us breaking the news and all of us crying more tears and feeling sorry for ourselves we all left feeling better than we had in the 2 days since we had received the news. I know this is how our Father in Heaven would have us feel. He would not want us to dwell on the sorrow we are feeling for our loss but rather the joy of life we still have yet to experience. Each day is a gift and a priviledge not a given. I pray that as we move forward thru these next few days and weeks that we will all try to emulate Lindseys example of life, attitude, and love for others. Make a difference for someone today in her honor. Help someone is need or simply offer a smile to someone who is feeling down. You will never know what that means to the other person but you will have done it nonetheless.
I'm am eternally grateful for the love and support and outpouring of concern that has been shown to Josh and Lindsey and to our families. We love you with all our hearts. We will continue to pray for a miracle and for strength for the days to come. Please continue to do so as well.
With love...and hope,
Julie
