I've been pondering over this update for a few days. What do I want to project from the words I write telling you of Lindseys continuing strivings to heal? How do I convey the emotions I feel without overwhelming each one of you? There is alot of information I pour into these updates and most importantly I want to remain positive so I wait until I'm not tired, exhausted, frustrated, overwhelmed, etc... I guess you can see why it's been a couple of weeks since I wrote!
First of all I want you to know that Lindsey's attitude, is as ever, unfailing in communicating happiness, love, positive emotions, and laughter. That never changes no matter what she faces each day. I wonder if we can even begin to imagine being 24 years old and be in a time in life when energy is abounding, dreams and hopes always present, and abillities and physical stature to be at your peak and be forced to deal with an illness that leaves you struggling for each one of those things. I wonder if it were me how positive I would remain on a day to day basis. Yet, despite all the restrictions this illness has placed on Lindsey, it is not only a rare occurrence, but one I never see, to see her feel pity for herself or give in the temptation of depression that I'm sure would plague most of us if this were our journey.
Josh and Lindsey experienced great healing which took place in Minnesota with the help of Master Lin, the Qiyoung ( pronounce Chi gong) master. You may remember that last time I sent an update hospice had reduced her medication and she had more sensation in her legs which was void for many months. However, we had a set back. While in MN Lindsey had some significant seizures. The doctors believe it was the reduction in medication and to treat her they put her on a very powerful anti-seizure medication that kept her very sedated. Every 3 hours they administered this drug Adavan. Pam and I flew out on Monday last week to help the kids out. They were in good hands with Brett and Lori Robinson, Lindseys aunt and uncle, but we had a very strong confirmation that we needed to be there. We were very glad we made the trip as the kids responded to their parents being there to help, love, and support them thru yet another stay in the hospital. And true to Lindsey's determination and will, she came out of the state she was in well enough to be released on Wednesday that same week! It never ceases to amaze me how deep she digs to turn each event around and smile thru the entire process. We spoke of very profound things during this time and suprisingly she remembers most of it. The embarrassing stuff she chooses to forget! haha. Very smart girl. I'm saving those for her for later :)
They chose to remain in MN and finish the healing treatments she started. I couldn't believe it when the very next day of being released from the hospital she took in an entire day of sessions. WHAT?! I would have thought maybe an hour or 2 but not 8 hours. This is the determination that drives her forward. The kids flew home this last Monday, the 21st and we are very glad they are back. She will continue with the methods that she learned while they were away and I encourage you to check out the links which were part of the last posting to the blog and see what she has been up to.
So now what? I want you all to know that if you are someone who is participating in the 5:55 moment that Lindsey literally feels your love coming her way. There is so much we don't understand in this universe. If you are a skeptic, it doesn't matter. Do it because it's what Lindsey needs. If you believe this moment each day helps then make that moment be filled with even more energy and love. Some days it's hard to stop at the very the second my phone alarm goes off. I was on the phone one day and the person continued talking and I quietly took my moment. Maybe what I should have done was include them and I will next time! I really believe that not only will Lindsey be blessed with peace but so will each person who pauses in their busy day to do something for someone else.
For the future, I don't know honestly. I'm a human being with anxieties, fears, confusion but also a person and child of God with great hope and belief. A lady who has become a dear friend of mine in a very short period of time wrote me the most beautiful thing in the midst of this journey we are all a part of and it lingers in my mind constantly each day. I hope it gives you the same peace that it gives me for I know where it comes from and whom.
"None of us knows what the future holds, but we know who holds it"
I pray we each keep in mind how blessed we are everyday. I don't care if you are a religious, spiritual, emotional, or whatever type person you believe yourself to be. If you wake up and take a breath unencumbered by pain then you are truly blessed. Make the most of each day. Don't squander how wonderful this life is and how many peoples lives you can touch because you are able to. We all experience challenges but I know without a doubt in my heart that none more so than Lindsey Karr's journey at this very moment....and she continues to smile. "He who laughs....lasts"